Karaoke
by CassidyTVNut
Summary: House and Co go to a bar after a hard day...Comedy ensues
1. Chapter 1

Karaoke

_**House, Cuddy, Wilson, Foreman, Thirteen, Cameron, Chase and Taub all go to a local pub. From there on they go to a karaoke bar. Comedy moments follow.**_

Chapter 1

It had been a tough day for the doctors of PPTH.

Cuddy had been in back to back meetings all day. She even had one with a donor who wanted sexual favours for a donation. He was middle aged, balding with a beer gut. Cuddy shoved him out of the door. The hospital needed money, but not that desperately.

House had nearly lost his patient on a particularly confusing case. And he hadn't even solved the puzzle, which left him frustrated.

Wilson had told 10 patients they were terminal. It bummed him out because he had followed these patients through their chemo and radiotherapy journeys, reassured them that it was going to be ok. But now it wasn't.

Chase had broken his arm and couldn't operate. He had fallen down the stairs and landed on his arm. Strangely enough, the rest of him was intact. No head injuries or brain issues. House reckons that it was because you have to have a brain to get a brain injury.

Cameron got personally involved with a patient again, and when they died, she got upset. Brandy Logan was 13 years old, and admitted with complications following her fight against leukaemia. She died a few hours later. Cameron was distraught.

Foreman had been hit in the mouth by the patient's husband. Serves him right really. He nearly killed the man's wife and called the husband a jackass.

Thirteen was struggling with the thought of monogamy to Foreman. She missed girls. She didn't mind a bit of both, but at least when she was with women, it wasn't exclusive. She could screw whoever she wanted. Now she was with Foreman, she had lost that freedom.

And Taub's wife had left him again...he had cheated on her with a blonde and busty nurse who was taller than him. Insert joke here.

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As all of the doctors sat in the lounge, they all had a look of despair on their face.

It had really not been the greatest day.

'I don't know about you guys,' said Cuddy. 'But I am in such desperate need for a cosmo, or 2, or 10.'

This perked everyone up a bit.

After getting changed out of their scrubs, they made their way down to Mitchie's Bar, a quite lively bar with a good atmosphere that Cuddy had suggested.

'Right everyone, first drinks are on me,' said Cuddy.

The team cheered.

House ordered a bourbon.

Wilson, Taub, Foreman and Chase ordered a beer.

Cuddy and Cameron ordered a cosmo.

And thirteen ordered vodka and coke.

'A toast,' said Cuddy. 'To the crappiest day in the world!'

'Cheers,' said the others.

The next round was to come from Thirteen.

'You have so got to try these cocktails. They're amazing.'

She handed them all one each.

They all sipped it.

'Wow,' said Cameron. 'That's good. What's it called?'

'Wet pussy.'

'Well Thirteen, you like what you like, huh?' said House.

'I like it,' said Cameron.

'What, pussy?'

'No the drink jackass!'

Foreman got the next round, he went with tequila shots.

Taub just got a regular round of whatever.

Wilson, drunk as a skunk by this time, bought a cocktail for everyone called 'bird shit.'

According to everyone's observations, it tasted like it too.

Wilson, being the drunkest of them all suggested they go to a karaoke bar and strut their stuff.

Too drunk to care, they all set out to Sing Sing Karaoke.


	2. Chapter 2

Karaoke

_**House, Cuddy, Wilson, Foreman, Thirteen, Cameron, Chase and Taub all go to a local pub. From there on they go to a karaoke bar. Comedy moments follow.**_

Chapter 2

They made their way into the bar and ordered more drinks.

They all decided to each do a solo, then do some groups/duets.

Feeling brave, House got up onto the stage and grabbed the mic.

Enrique Iglesias I'm not in love came on.

He knew this one, it reminded him a lot of him and Cuddy, how he felt about her.

For a second, he panicked, thinking that maybe she'd find out he felt this way, then reject him.

With nothing to lose, he started to sing.

_**You call me on the phone  
I act like nothing's going on  
We're driving in my car  
I pretend that you don't turn me on  
Ah ah ah you sexy thing  
Yeah you know it yeah  
Ah ah ah you move around now you show it**_

I'm not in love  
It's just a phase that i'm going through  
I'm always looking for something new  
But don't go running away

It's almost 3am  
I'm hoping that you don't let go  
You're moving in so close  
I'm trying not to lose control  
Ah ah ah you sexy thing  
Yeah you know it yeah  
Ah ah ah  
You move around and now you show it (come on)

I'm not in love  
It's just a phase that I'm going through  
I'm always looking for something new  
Don't go running away  
Oh I'm not in love  
I try to tell myself all the time  
I just can't help how I feel tonight  
So don't go running away yeah

I'm not in love (yeah yeah)  
I'm not in love  
I'm not in love (give it to me now)  
I'm not in love (break it down)  
Ah ah ah you sexy thing  
Yeah you know it  
You move around and now you show it

As he sung, he looked into Cuddy's eyes.

She was mesmerising.

He'd never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire life.

As their eyes met, she smiled, understanding the words hidden meaning.

As he finished, everyone applauded him.

He was a better singer than everyone had thought.

Deciding now was never, Cuddy got up and started to sing the Sugababes Push The Button, a song she thought was her and House to a t.

_**I'm busy throwing hints that he keeps missing  
Don't have to think about it  
I Wanna kiss and  
Everything around it but he's too distant  
I wanna feel his body  
I can't resist it**_

I know my hidden looks can be deceiving  
How obvious should a girl be?  
I was taken by the early conversation piece  
And I really like the way that he respect me

I've been waiting patiently for him to come and get it  
I wonder if he knows that he can say it and I'm with it  
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning  
Catch this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy  
You'd better push the button and let me know  
Before I get the wrong idea and go  
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I'm busy showing him what he's been missing  
I'm kind of showing off for his full attention  
My sexy ass has got him in the new dimension  
I'm ready to do something to relieve this mission

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it  
He came on through and asked me if I wanted to get with him  
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning  
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy  
You'd better push the button and let me know  
Before I get the wrong idea and go  
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

If you're ready for me boy  
You'd better push the button and let me know  
Before I get the wrong idea and go  
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

I've been dropping so many hints  
You're still not getting it  
Now that you've heard everything I have to say  
Where we gonna go from here?

After waiting patiently for him to come and get it  
He came on through and asked me if I wanted to get with him  
I knew I had my mind made up from the very beginning  
Won't miss this opportunity so you and me could feel it 'cos

If you're ready for me boy  
You'd better push the button and let me know  
Before I get the wrong idea and go  
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

If you're ready for me boy  
You'd better push the button and let me know  
Before I get the wrong idea and go  
You're gonna miss the freak that I control  
(Come on)

If you're ready for me boy  
(For me boy)  
You'd better push the button and let me know  
Before I get the wrong idea and go  
You're gonna miss the freak that I control

As she sung, she shook her hips and wiggled her ass, catching the attention of all of the men, including House.

He was jealous of how the other men stared at her, at how the other men wanted her, just like he did.

She was trying to hurry him up, before she found someone else.

The song finished with astounding applause.

Cuddy came back and downed a shot.

Wow that took some balls.


	3. Chapter 3

Karaoke

_**House, Cuddy, Wilson, Foreman, Thirteen, Cameron, Chase and Taub all go to a local pub. From there on they go to a karaoke bar. Comedy moments follow.**_

Chapter 3

Wilson shuddered.

It was his go now.

He walked slowly to the stage, nervous as hell.

James Morrison's Wonderful World started to play.

_**I've been down so low  
People look at me and they know  
They can tell something is wrong  
Like I don't belong**_

Staring through a window  
Standing outside, they're just too happy to care tonight  
I want to be like them  
But I'll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in  
And got kicked outside, everybody saw...

And I know that it's a wonderful world  
But I can't feel it right now  
Well I thought that I was doing well  
But I just want to cry now  
Well I know that it's a wonderful world  
From the sky down to the sea  
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love  
It just comes spilling out  
It's uncomfortable to see  
I give it away so easily  
But if I had someone I would do anything  
I'd never, never, ever let you feel alone  
I won't I won't leave you, on your own

But who am I to dream?  
Dreams are for fools, they let you down...

And I know that it's a wonderful world  
But I can't feel it right now  
Well I thought that I was doing well  
But I just want to cry now  
Well I know that it's a wonderful world  
From the sky down to the sea  
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I wish that I could make it better  
I'd give anything for you to call me, or maybe just a little letter  
Oh, we could start again

And I know that it's a wonderful world  
But I can't feel it right now  
Well I thought that I was doing well  
But I just want to cry now  
Well I know that it's a wonderful world  
From the sky down to the sea  
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world  
I can't feel it right now  
I got all the right clothes to wear  
I just want to cry now  
Well I know that it's a wonderful world  
From the sky down to the sea  
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world  
When you're with me__

It was a terrifying experience for Wilson, but he made it through the song without any major problems.

He went and sat back down and drained his drink.

'Wow.'

It was Thirteen's turn now.

She had chosen Katy Perry's I kissed a girl.

How ironic.

Her colleagues roared with laughter.

_**This was never the way I planned, not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion  
It's not what I'm used to, just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you caught my attention**_

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name, it doesn't matter  
You're my experimental game, just human nature  
It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused, hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it  
_**  
Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist, so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
It ain't no big deal, it's innocent**_

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

She accompanied her singing with some raunchy dance moves.

Foreman could not take his eyes off her.

She was so sexy, with raw animal magnetic energy.

Being more tipsy than the others when they sang, Foreman let the guys pick his song.

How wrong he was.

They picked the village peoples YMCA, a classic gay anthem.

House, Chase and Wilson roared with laughter.

Too drunk to be bothered, he started to sing.

_**Young man, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.  
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town  
There's no need to be unhappy.**_

Young man, there's a place you can go.  
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.  
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,  
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, are you listening to me?  
I said, young man, what do you want to be?  
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.  
But you got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.  
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,  
And just go there, to the y.m.c.a.  
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,  
You can do whatever you feel ...

Young man, I was once in your shoes.  
I said, I was down and out with the blues.  
I felt no man cared if I were alive.  
I felt the whole world was so tight ...

That's when someone came up to me,  
And said, young man, take a walk up the street.  
There's a place there called the y.m.c.a.  
They can start you back on your way.

It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.  
It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.

They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all the boys ...

Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.  
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

Y-m-c-a ... you'll find it at the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, there's no need to feel down.  
Young man, young man, get yourself off the ground.

Y-m-c-a ... just go to the y-m-c-a.

Young man, young man, are you listening to me?  
Young man, young man, what do you wanna be? 

He took great relief in that no one else would see this.

But little did he know that Chase and House were videoing him on their cells.

And it was going on House's youtube account.


	4. Chapter 4

Karaoke

_**House, Cuddy, Wilson, Foreman, Thirteen, Cameron, Chase and Taub all go to a local pub. From there on they go to a karaoke bar. Comedy moments follow.**_

Chapter 4

It was now Chase's turn.

Ali Campbell's Devoted to You started to play.

_**Darlin' you can count on me  
Till the sun dries up the sea  
Until then I'll always be devoted to you**_

I'll be yours through endless time  
I'll adore your charms sublime  
Guess by now you know that I'm devoted to you

I'll never hurt you, I'll never lie  
I'll never be untrue  
I'll never give you reason to cry  
I'd be unhappy if you were blue

Through the years my love will grow  
Like a river it will flow  
It can't die because I'm so devoted to you

I'll never hurt you, I'll never lie  
I'll never be untrue  
I'll never give you reason to cry  
I'd be unhappy if you were blue

Through the years my love will grow  
Like a river it will flow  
It can't die because I'm so devoted to you

At the end, Chase said, 'That was for my beautiful wife Allison.'

Cameron was touched.

She was nearly in tears.

She had to compose herself though because it was now her go.

Holly Valance's Down Boy started to play.

_**Down boy  
Keep you down boy**_

I'm the one that you would die for  
The one you long to touch  
The one you live our life for  
I know it's much

The more you see, the more you want  
The more you taste, it just gets better  
The more you get, the more you like it  
Don't go too far, I won't let you

Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
If you want me with you  
Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
Some things I just won't do

Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
If you want me with you  
Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
Some things I just won't do

Do anything to please me  
I got you where I want  
I know how much you need me  
Just wanna get it up

The more you see, the more you want  
The more you taste, it just gets better  
The more you get, the more you like it  
Don't go too far, I won't let you

Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
If you want me with you  
Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
Some things I just won't do

Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
If you want me with you  
Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
Some things I just won't do

Gotta keep you down  
Gotta keep you down  
Gotta keep you down  
Some things I just won't do  
Some things I just won't do  
Some things I just won't do  
Some things I just won't do

The more you see, the more you want  
The more you taste, it just gets better  
The more you get, the more you like it  
Don't go too far, I won't let you

Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
If you want me with you  
Down boy  
Won't you bring me down boy  
Gotta keep you down  
Some things I just won't do  


As she sung, she kept her eyes on Chase, but couldn't help her eyes wander to House and Cuddy making out in the corner.

She loved Chase, but in a different way to how she loved House.

She was one seriously confused doctor.


	5. Chapter 5

Karaoke

_**House, Cuddy, Wilson, Foreman, Thirteen, Cameron, Chase and Taub all go to a local pub. From there on they go to a karaoke bar. Comedy moments follow.**_

Chapter 5

Now everyone apart from buzz kill Taub had sung, they had decided to do group ones.

So they had been split up into boys and girls – minus Taub because he didn't want to sing.

The girls went first.

Between them they had chosen Destiny's Child Naughty Girl.

The music started and they all sang in perfect harmony.

_**I'm feelin sexy  
I wanna hear you say my name boy  
If you can reach me  
You can feel my burning flame**_

I'm feelin kind of n-a-s-t-y  
I might just take you home with me  
Baby the minute i feel your energy  
Your vibe's just taken over me  
Start feelin so crazy babe  
I feel the funk coming over me  
I don't know what's gotten into me  
The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe

Tonight i'll be your naughty girl  
I'm callin all my girls  
We're gonna turn this party out  
I know you want my body  
Tonight i'll be your naughty girl  
I'm callin all my girls  
I see you look me up and down  
And i came to party

You're so sexy, tonight i am all yours boy  
The way your body moves across the floor  
You got me feelin n-a-s-t-y  
I might just take you home with me

Baby the minute i feel your energy  
The vibe's just taken over me  
Start feelin so crazy babe  
I feel the funk coming over me  
I don't know what's gotten into me  
The rhythm's got me feelin so crazy babe

Tonight i'll be your naughty girl  
I'm callin all my girls  
We're gonna turn this party out  
I know you want my body  
Tonight i'll be your naughty girl  
I'm callin all my girls  
I see you look me up and down  
And i came to party

I love to love you baby  
I love to love you baby  
I love to love you baby

Tonight i'll be your naughty girl  
I'm callin all my girls  
We're gonna turn this party out  
I know you want my body  
Tonight i'll be your naughty girl  
I'm callin all my girls  
I see you look me up and down  
And i came to party

As they sung, they danced close to each other, trying to make their boys go wild.

As the song finished, the boys stood up.

'Well, girls, good stuff, but I think we can beat you.'

'Oh really?'

'Hell yeah.'

Foreman, House, Chase and Wilson got up on stage and started to sing to Hot Chocolate's You Sexy Thing from the Full Monty.

_**I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing**_

_**Miracles right before my eyes  
You sexy thing got me hypnotised  
Don't stop what ya' doing  
What ya' doing to me  
My angel from above lying next to me  
How did ya' know that I'd be the one  
Been a long time coming only just begun  
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing  
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing**_

_**How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me**_

_**I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing**_

_**Only yesterday I was on my own  
Just another day later my mind was blown  
You sexy thing come into my life  
Forever and a day it feels so right  
How did ya' know that I'd be the one  
Been a long time coming only just begun  
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing  
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing**_

_**How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me**_

_**I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing**_

_**Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing**_

_**You sexy thing **_

As they sung, they stripped their clothes off, in a very strange striptease.

By the end of the song, the boys were in their underwear.

And the women had taken their clothes.

It was going to be a long walk home.

And an embarrassing one.


End file.
